Im Still A Mess

My life feels like a real mess. Don’t let anyone tell you that you get through one whole load, one big opening & it’s over. Not in my case. And don’t let anyone tell you that you can find yourself floating in spaciousness, with the real-me-being-the-spaciousness, and that solves everything. Not in my case. I tried that for at 10 years. There were still these great big lumps of karma that I called me. And no amount of playing  around the edges observing and offering love & spaciousness did much to change them (for them read ‘me’).

Drilling In To the Core

So we can’t go around, or outside of our emotions, of where we hold. To let go of where we hold, the only way to go is straight in. To the core. With a diamond drill called mindfulness-done-right.

Mindfulness-done-right is a weird kind of drill. How can spacious awareness that allows things as they are, me as I am, my inner world as it is, be a diamond drill? Very easily as it happens. It just is.

So here I am happily (?) drilling hum ha. When you’re at the pit-head there isn’t much light. Yes, now you know how to come out whenever for air, but then you’re back in the dark, drilling for the core. Blind. Screwing up regularly. In a totally dysfunctionally neurotic/psychotic very-average-Joe kind of way. Not even sure you’re drilling in the right direction. Not even sure if you’re drilling actually.

Now, back to ebay…